


Before You

by JehBeeEh



Series: Ahead by a Century [36]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Manipulation, Ex-Boyfriends, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22645204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JehBeeEh/pseuds/JehBeeEh
Summary: Steve: Need 1 of u 2 come meet me rn, pls.[Location tracker activated]Bucky: WTF… Everything ok? I can probably be there in 10 to 15?Steve: Drew's here.Bucky: Be there in 5.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Ahead by a Century [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514069
Comments: 27
Kudos: 218





	Before You

**_Tony_ ** _: I’ve lost my will to live!_

 **_Steve_ ** _: I’m sure it can't be that bad._

The barista handed Steve his mug, the blond thanking her, as he smiled broadly at his phone, reading along with Tony's play by play of his meeting.

**_Tony:_ ** _No no, it is horrible. It makes The Irishman feel like it lasted 20 minutes._

_**Steve:** And how long do you have left?_

**_Tony:_ ** _Like, at least one Titanic._

 **_Steve:_ ** _That’s almost the same thing._

 **_Tony:_ ** _At least Titanic was bearable…_

 **_Tony:_ ** _I’d much rather be home with you and have you draw me like one of your French girls, baby._

 **_Steve:_ ** _Hm… Je suis certain que tu aimerais cela, oui. Je dois avouer, j’aimerais bien mettre ma main sur toi en ce moment aussi, mon amour._

 **_Tony:_ ** _Cute, FRIDAY translate that for you?_

 **_Steve:_ ** _Nope._

 **_Tony:_ ** _?! How do you know French??_

Steve heard the chair across from him move, but he paid it little mind, too busy smiling dopily down at his phone. He assumed someone was taking the chair for another table nearby, so when he noticed that someone actually sat down, he looked up just barely from his phone.

“Hey Steve,” an all too familiar voice said.

“ _Shit_ …” Steve let out under his breath, his face falling. “Hi Drew.” He looked down at his phone, noticing a message from Tony that he couldn’t concentrate on. He quickly typed up a reply saying something came up, he'd get back to him soon, and he opened his chat with Natasha, Bucky and Sam.

**_Steve_ ** _: Need 1 of u 2 come meet me rn, pls._

_[Location tracker activated]_

**_Bucky_ ** _: WTF… Everything ok? I can probably be there in 10 to 15?_

 **_Steve_ ** _: Drew's here._

 **_Bucky_ ** _: Be there in 5._

“I see you’re still attached to chatting with other people more than talking to me.” _[How do you expect us to have a relationship if all you ever want to do is spend time with_ them _instead of_ me _?!]_

“Sor-” _Don’t apologize_ , Steve thought. “Bucky is meeting me, and he needed me to confirm where I was.” Steve half-lied.

“Could have told him you had company, we haven’t talked in a while, what has it been now?” _[Why did I waste a year of my life with you?!]_

“It's been 2 years…” Steve swallowed thickly.

“Wow! Feels like just yesterday sometimes.” Drew took a sip of his drink – _grande americano, 2 pumps of sugar free vanilla syrup, dash of half & half cream, just like you love it, Steve had said so often, even though he was pretty sure Drew had no idea what his go-to order was _– his dark eyes never leaving Steve's. “Saw you got married. Congrats! Had to do a double take when I saw you all over the news at that Met fundraiser last year with _him_. And then the wedding. Didn’t think you could move on and find better than me.” _[Oh please, Steve. We both know if you leave, you will never find anyone that will want to be with you.]_ There wasn’t a hint of humour in his tone, he was dead serious.

“Tony’s great,” was all that managed to come out of Steve's mouth, barely above a whisper. He looked down at his phone. Bucky should be here any minute.

“Thought you said you never wanted to get married.” Another sip, another judging gaze.

“I don’t think I said that, no.” _[How the hell could I spend the rest of my life with_ you _?!]_

“Well you clearly have a type, Steven. I mean, you basically replaced me with a mirror image, you know, in like 20 years or something.”

Steve couldn’t find the words. Couldn’t find a way to tell him he could not be further from the truth. Drew’s words were calculated, harsh. Tony’s were soft, caring. Both had brown eyes, but Drew’s were dark in every sense of the word. They felt like they were constantly judging everything and everyone they looked at, where Tony's made you melt, the hints of chocolate and bourbon in them inviting and warm. Tony had never tried to belittle Steve the way Drew had, so many times. Tony loved _him_ , all of him. Drew had loved the _idea_ of him, if even that.

“Tony is nothing like you ever were or will be, Drew.” Steve's voice was low, but he managed to speak a few words, and that was more than he thought he’d thought he could say.

“Come on, Steve, I’m not stupid. You two have nothing in common. I saw this for what it was the moment I saw the headlines. You’re just looking for attention.” [ _You told your friends that I am emotionally abusive? Wow! You are such an attention whore, Steve.]_ “This won’t last, we both know it. I’m surprised you haven’t come crawling back to m-"

“Hey Steve, fuck, sorry I’m late.” Bucky called out the moment he crossed the threshold of the coffee shop, making half the patrons turn to look at him. He walked over to Steve, who couldn’t seem to relax even with Bucky there.

“S'all good, don't apologize,” Steve replied flatly, trying not to show how relieved he was to see him in that moment.

“Good thing I was here to keep him company,” Drew chimed in, glare on Bucky now.

“Don’t even get me fucking started with you,” Bucky glared right back.

“Buck, don't.” Steve was still tense, and only let the words out by habit. Bucky had never liked Steve's ex, and when Steve had mentioned a few of the things he was subjected to, the gloves were off, and Bucky was having none of it.

“Like hell I won't,” Bucky told Steve emphatically, but with a warmth only his best friend could convey. “Leave him alone Drew. I mean it.”

“We were just chatting.” Drew threw his hands up in a defensive way, looking at Bucky with a smarmy smile.

“That isn’t reassuring considering the bullshit that usually comes out of your mouth.”

“Bucky, please.” He turned back to the other man. “Drew, please leave. And, do not make me have to get another restraining order on you. Just leave me alone. Please.”

“Whatever Steve,” Drew got up with an eyeroll, starting to leave. As he got next to the blond, he leaned closer, right by his ear. “I stand by what I said. Enjoy your five minutes of fame.”

“What the hell did he tell you?” Bucky asked, anger radiating from him, as he watched Drew leave.

“It was nothing, ok? I promise, I’m fine. I just want to forget about this right now.” Steve finished his coffee quickly. “Come on, I’ll buy you a coffee. Thanks for coming out here.”

“I’m getting the most expensive latte I can come up with, you know that, right?”

“I’d be worried if you didn’t.” Steve finally smiled as he stood up, hugging his best friend. “Seriously, thank you for coming, Bucky. I owe you one.”

“You don’t. I’ll come running to save your ass anytime.” And Steve knew he meant every word.

* * *

The house was quiet when he came home at the end of the day, the only light coming from the stairs leading to Tony's workspace. He settled his things and started a pot of water boiling for pasta before heading downstairs.

Tony barely turned when Steve reached the basement, continuing to work on a hologram Steve couldn’t identify that was lit up in front of him.

“Hey, how long have you been home?” Tony asked as he worked.

“Just got back. Starting on dinner. I’m so happy to see you right now.” Steve had settled behind the genius and wrapped his left arm around Tony's waist while his right arm curved upward, his hand resting over Tony's heart, taking a moment enjoy the feel of Tony in his arms. “How was the rest of your day?”

“Pretty shitty actually.”

“Oh no. Anything I can help with?”

“Not really. Mind if I just finish this? Kinda just want to be alone right now.”

“Sure. I’ll go make dinner.” He gave Tony one last squeeze and a kiss before making his way back to the kitchen.

He puttered away, getting the sauce for his pasta ready instinctively, wondering how he should bring up his day's encounter with his husband. When he finally called Tony up for dinner, he'd decided to wait to address the whole thing with him. It was a conversation that would require lots of explanation, and tonight might not be the time for it.

“Made your fave,” Steve smiled sweetly at Tony as he set the plate of roasted red pepper and chicken farfalle in front of him on the island.

“Thanks,” Tony mumbled, digging into his plate. After Steve settled, he asked without looking away from his plate, “How was your day?”

“Um, it was ok. Definitely got better as it went along. Buck ended up meeting me for coffee. Had a good meeting with my therapist. Nat dragged me to a yoga and meditation class that turned out to be way better than I expected, at least the meditation part was. Might actually do a few more of those.” Steve took another bite, then remembered, “Oh! That commission piece I finished yesterday? Got delivered this morning, and Tara loved it! Sent me a box of those French macarons you're always raving about. We can have those for dessert.”

Tony turned to Steve and just looked at him with an expression the blond couldn’t place. “I’m actually not that hungry anymore, I’m just going to head to bed. Thanks for dinner.”

Steve could only stare as Tony dropped his fork and headed for their room. He finished his plate and cleaned up, giving Tony some space before heading upstairs after him. Whatever happened during the meeting today must have really shaken him up. He made his way to their room with some tea, knowing his husband enough to know there was no way he would actually be sleeping yet, and finding Tony just coming out of the shower, throwing one of Steve’s t-shirts on as he left the ensuite.

“Want to talk about what happened at work, hun?” Steve asked, as he handed Tony the mug.

“I didn’t know you had a meeting with your therapist today,” was the answer he got.

“I wasn’t supposed to, but something came up and she was thankfully able to squeeze me in during lunch.”

“Something came up…” Tony nodded, placing his mug on the dresser near him. “Was it tall, dark and handsome?”

“Excuse me?”

“Wanna know how my day went? The shareholders meeting was going pretty well, if a little dry, as per my colour commentary that you very abruptly dismissed all of a sudden. And then, after we took a break, everyone came back and there was a picture of you. On the big screen of the conference, cause one of the techs forgot his laptop was connected to the system. There you are, smiling at this guy I’ve never seen, but, gotta admit, he looked real good. And I wondered who dug up a picture from your past, but your wedding band is visible, so I know it's recent… and then I’m told it was from today. And of course, the shareholders start to panic, because they’ve all gotten alerts by then, and all the headlines are reading that you’re cheating on me, and somehow the fact that we don't have a prenup gets mentioned, because of course it does. Of course they know every fucking detail of our lives. And I’m trying to calm everyone down, because there is no way in hell you’d do that, right? By then, the rest of the conference is derailed anyways. And then there are pictures, not even 10 minutes later, of Barnes there with you, and you look pissed as hell, like you’re mad he caught you or something… and I’m trying hard to still defend you by that point, but you’re ignoring my messages. And then, you come home and don't even tell me about this mystery guy. And you are making my favourite meal, like you’re trying to apologize for something. How the fuck am I supposed to not think any of the headlines are true, huh?”

“Shit…” Steve had sat, silent through Tony’s explanation, once again cursing the fact that their life seemed to be fair game for all. “Tony, I’m sorry. I can explain.”

“Might be a little late for that Steve.” Tony’s tone is biting, as he shouted the sentence out to him, catching Steve off guard.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Steve replied more harshly than he wanted.

“Exactly what it sounded like!” Tony was yelling. He stopped for a minute, crossing his arms around his chest, but still fuming as he carried on. “Clearly you were hoping to keep whatever little side hustle you have going with this guy going and got pissed when Barnes found out -"

“What the actual fuck! Tony that is not even close to the truth!” Steve was besides himself, returning Tony’s tone just as loudly.

“Then why were you at your therapists, huh? Clearly you needed to get something off your conscience.”

“I did, but not what you seem to think. Jesus, are you actually choosing to believe some bullshit tabloid story right now?” Steve couldn’t keep the hurt from seeping into his words.

“You aren’t exactly giving me anything to make me think the contrary!”

“You were the one who was worried that I would run off because of the lies they write. Remember that? You were the one who gave me a whole fucking speech about it. And now this? THIS!? I can't fucking believe you Tony.”

“What the hell am I supposed to believe when you clearly omit the details of what happened when I ask about your day, huh? How the fucking hell am I supposed not to think it is true?”

“I was trying to spare you! You said your day was shit, and I didn’t want to make it worse with this -"

“Oh, ‘cause that is supposed to make me feel any better?!”

“STOP assuming shit, Tony!”

“STOP GIVING ME REASON TO!”

Steve stopped in his tracks, looking at his husband, speechless.

“The fact that you actually think I would be fucking some other guy behind your back, is one thing. Knowing you think this because of some pictures you saw with no context or justification, and from some random tabloid? That is God damned low. I’m going to Bucky’s. Give me a call when you’re ready to talk like a fucking civilized human.”

Steve stormed out, taking out his phone when he got downstairs and texted his best friend, who promptly informed him he'd be better off crashing at Nat’s for the night. He knew he needed his overnight bag if he was going to her place, since he usually just borrowed Bucky’s clothes when he crashed at his house. He debated for a minute if it was worth going back upstairs to grab a few things, or if he should just suck it up and sleep on the couch. Regardless, both options involved going back upstairs. He climbed the steps quickly, finding Tony hunched over the bed, his eyes closed tightly.

“I’m just going to grab a few things -" Steve started before he heard Tony whisper his name and start to tumble downwards.

“Tony? Tony!” Steve bolted forward, grabbing his husband as he tumbled towards the floor. “Baby? Sweetheart talk to me, please. Tony?” Steve begged as panic started to set in. “FRIDAY, vitals?” He managed to let out, as he found Tony's pulse, breathing a little easier at that.

“Boss’ vitals indicate he fainted, nothing more serious” the familiar voice replied.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Steve laid Tony down on the ground, making sure he was ok, before rushing to their bathroom to get a wash cloth. “It's ok, sweetheart, I’m here. I’m so sorry.” He repeated over and over as he swiped the washcloth gently over Tony's forehead and cheeks and neck, the brunette slowly regaining consciousness.

“-Teev?”

“Yeah, baby. I’m right here.” He placed a kiss on his forehead. “Want me to put you on the bed? It'll be comfier.” Tony nodded slightly, and Steve picked him up carefully and placed him on the bed, curling himself into his side, and holding on to him as tight as he dared. “I’m so sorry sweetheart.”

“Don’t go,” Tony whispered, breaking Steve's heart.

“Not going anywhere, baby. Ever ever. You are stuck with me. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have yelled and stormed out like that.” Steve tried to hold back tears as he pulled Tony even closer.

“S'okay. I deserved it -"

“Don’t you dare say that. You did not. And never will. I am so sorry, Tony.”

“No, ’m sorry. Shouldn’t have assumed… tha's bad.”

“Shhh baby, it’s okay. FRIDAY, how’s he doing?”

“Everything seems to be back to normal, but you should keep him like this for a half hour or so.”

“Thanks FRI.” Steve carded his fingers through Tony's hair, dropping kisses along his hairline as he went. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Jus’ a bit woozy, ‘s all.”

“If you think you’re up for it, I can tell you about the guy from this morning.”

“Don’t have to do that.”

“I was going to tell you tomorrow. You’d had such a shit day… That was dumb. I should have known better. I am so sorry Tony.”

“Not your fault, Steve.”

“Sure feels like it is.” Steve sighed. “Remember this guy we've mentioned a few times, Drew? My ex-boyfriend?” Tony nodded against his side. “That's who I saw this morning. Not by choice though.” Steve pulled out his phone and easily found the pictures. “The reason I am smiling so much there? I was talking to you. I had just sat down, and I was so happy to be talking to you for a bit. You make me so ridiculously happy, Tony.

“Drew was my last serious relationship. We broke up 2 years ago, had been together almost a year? I forget exactly. When I met him… well, it reminds me a lot of you. Us. The first month or two were so great. He was great. You were right, he is insanely handsome. Super confident. The most captivating eyes. He sucked me right in. Everything was… normal, whatever that means. I fell for him so hard, so fast. That’s where the similarities end, thankfully. I didn’t notice when he started to change. Or, more so, when he started being himself, I guess.” Steve was quiet for a few minutes, squeezing Tony to his side even more. “Are you feeling okay, sweetheart? Need anything?”

“ ‘m fine.”

“Okay.” He kissed Tony's hair, letting his lips linger as he breathed in deeply.

“What did he do? I know Barnes had mentioned he didn't like you spending time with your friends?” Tony asked.

“Yup. He hated when I made any form of plans that didn't include him. I thought it was sweet at first, you know. He just couldn’t bare to be away from me ‘cause he loved me so much. But with time, it got worse. You know about the hockey game debacle with Buck. Nat and I had tickets to see _Waitress_ on Broadway once, and he wouldn't let me go. Even my weekly coffee dates with my mom… he was controlling, to say the least. But the shift was so subtle that I didn't notice it. Or didn’t want to see it, I’m not sure, really?

“He managed to convince me that no one else would ever love me, ‘cause I was so flawed… I was too dependent on my friends, I was too much of a mama's boy. Who could ever love someone that was that much into art? Someone that planned and overthought everything the way I did. A guy who was clearly conceited if he went to the gym every damned day. He turned everything I was and loved into something wrong, something I should be ashamed of. He made me blame myself for things that weren't my fault and that weren’t even bad. It was such a slow shift though, I didn’t see it until it had been six months since I’d spoken to Bucky or Nat or Sam. I hadn't done anything for myself or by myself in even longer. He even managed to use sex against me. I don’t even know how… I’m pretty sure he was cheating on me. And then ma called, and said she had to talk to me. It took everything to convince Drew to let me go see my own mother, alone. And that's when I found out her cancer was back.” Tears were rolling freely on Steve’s cheeks now.

“I called Bucky after that cause I was such a fucking mess, somehow Buck wasn’t pissed. Not at me anyways. Him and Nat came and met up with me and we talked, I mostly bawled my eyes out, about mom and what was going on with Drew. It's like, suddenly, a veil got lifted, and I saw just how bad things were… I apologized for being such a bad person, and that’s when they realized just how much he had screwed me up. I wasn't apologizing for ignoring them, I was basically saying sorry for all the things they loved about me and that I now thought were wrong. Nat insisted I stay at her place that night, which turned into days, neither of them wanted me near him. I owe them so much for getting me out of that relationship.

“It took about a week before I felt strong enough to break up with him. Bucky had to come with me, ‘cause I knew I couldn’t be alone with him. The few times he had been around Bucky or Nat, he had always been his sweet charming self. When he realized I was trying to break up with him, he didn’t care that I wasn’t alone. He tried to tell me I’d end up alone ‘cause I was so broken, so useless, so unlovable. He tried to convince me Bucky was just jealous of us and that’s why he wanted us to break up. He pulled out all the stops. He finally left, but he was always there… he showed up outside my work, he showed up at the gym, at my house. Bucky and Nat were almost always with me, trying to protect me. It took a month before I had to get a restraining order. And I only agreed to that when he showed up at the hospital when I was with my mom, hospital security had to be called and he was so mad that he told me it was my fault that she got sick again. The whole thing was so fucked up.”

“Why didn’t you call me, today?” Tony asked softly after whipping tears from Steve's cheeks.

“I don’t know… I knew you were busy, and I knew it would be faster for Bucky to get where I was, and he knows the backstory. I think I never told you the whole story because I was ashamed that someone could manipulate me so easily. I feel weak and stupid when I think back on that whole year. Plus, it never felt like there was a right time to bring it up. When we started seeing each other, I was worried you’d run away when you heard the story. Part of me was also scared that you were like him. Not just you, it was part of why dating was so hard after him. And then, the longer we were together, the less I wanted to tell you, ‘cause I was worried you’d leave me and that thought was just unbearable. It still is.

“I feel like everything about me is a liability to you sometimes. Like I’m more trouble than I’m worth. I try to tell myself it isn't true, so does my therapist. It's hard sometimes not to blame myself for everything, including you getting sick. I know I should have told you all this much sooner, I’m sorry. I guess I was being selfish, not wanting you to leave…”

“You’re not selfish, nor are you the reason I’m sick, Steve. And I wouldn’t have left you if you told me. I love you. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you and yelled at you…”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you too.” Steve rubbed his hand up and down Tony's arm. “Please don’t get mad at me for asking… Have you had anymore side effects from the arrhythmia? ‘Cause the fainting…” he asked cautiously.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you… I didn’t want you to worry more than I know you already do. I think it's part of why I was crankier today.” Tony turned to lie on his back, still tucked into Steve's arms. “I’m getting dizzy all the time and I’m tired, way more than usual. I haven’t fainted until today, but there were a few times where it was probably closer than I’d care to admit. Guess we both had things to tell each other today, huh?”

“Yeah…”

Tony turned his head to look at Steve. “We can be really dumb and dense sometimes, huh?”

“Definitely,” Steve answered with a mirthless chuckle.

“I’m scared,” Tony admitted softly moments later. “Of how fast this seems to be progressing, and needing surgery, and all the bad ‘what ifs’.”

“I know. Me too,” Steve whispered back. “I think you need to go back to see Dr. Erskine. Before it gets worse. Before something really bad…” Steve couldn't finish the phrase.

“I know, I’ll get FRIDAY to set something up first thing tomorrow morning.”

“I’ve already sent a message to Dr. Erskine's office, boss, with all the details. There's already an appointment booked first thing tomorrow.” The AI chimed in.

“Keep this up, baby girl, and JARVIS will get jealous and rebel,” Tony answered with a laugh.

“Please don’t joke about rogue AIs. We both know if anyone can create it, it’s you,” Steve answered, trying not to let thoughts of Terminator-like machines attacking them go through his mind. “How about we get some sleep? I think it’ll do both of us some good.”

“Yeah, that does sounds good.” They both shuffled out of their clothes before settling under the blankets, Tony tucked perfectly in the curve of Steve's body, his back resting against the blonde’s chest. “Steve? I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. I didn’t really help… we can talk about it tomorrow, okay love.” He placed a kiss on top of the brunette's head, pulling him in closer to his chest. “Good night, Tony. I love you so much.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Tony grabbed his husband’s hand and kissed his wedding band, before curling their joined hands over his heart. “Love you so, so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to end very differently. Like cliffhanger of Steve finding Tony passed out. I just couldn't do it. I was nice ;)
> 
> That sentence in French:  
> Je suis certain que tu aimerais cela, oui. Je dois avouer, j’aimerais bien mettre ma main sur toi en ce moment aussi, mon amour.  
> I'm sure you'd like that, yes. Gotta admit, I'd love to get my hands on you too right now, my love.
> 
> Hopefully this made some sense, and you enjoyed it, and it might take me a while to write the next part, we shall see (I've been procrastinating horribly on my school work and am behind. Oops!). Depends how much I need to procrastinate more ;)
> 
> I truly hope you all liked this <3 Thanks for reading and following along. I am beyond grateful, you have no idea. Truly, thank you to each and every one of you!  
> (Oh, and I image Drew as either Zac Levi or John Krasinsky. No idea why... But like, equally as hot as Evans kinda thing ;) )


End file.
